Engaged Over the Holidays? 10 Things to Do First

Getting engaged over the holidays is magical—between the twinkling lights, family gatherings, and that incredible moment when you said yes, it’s easy to feel like you’re floating. But once the initial excitement settles (and everyone stops asking to see the ring), you might be wondering: now what?

At Moore & Co., we work with couples who got engaged over the holidays all the time, and we always tell them the same thing: take a breath. Coming off the busy holiday season and jumping straight into wedding planning can feel overwhelming. Before you dive into venue tours and vendor meetings, there are some important first steps that will make your entire wedding planning journey smoother, more enjoyable, and way less stressful.

If you take nothing else away from this post, let it be this: enjoy your engagement. You don’t need to have your wedding date picked by New Year’s Day or a venue booked by Valentine’s Day. Getting engaged is such a special moment in your lives, and you never get it back.

Take at least a week or two to soak in all the happiness of being engaged. Tell your story to friends and family, get used to wearing that ring, and just be engaged for a bit before you become “the couple planning a wedding.” Once you start planning, it never really stops, so give yourself this time to simply celebrate.

Before you start looking at venues or setting a budget, have some honest conversations with your partner about what kind of wedding you both actually want. Do you dream of an intimate gathering of 50 people or a big celebration with 200? Are you thinking formal ballroom or a relaxed waterfront reception on the Eastern Shore? Would you rather splurge on an amazing photographer or incredible food?

These conversations don’t need to happen all at once, but starting them early helps you both feel aligned as you move into the planning phase. (Plus, it prevents you from falling in love with a barn venue when your partner has been dreaming of a city hotel ballroom.)

Here’s something every couple needs to know: your guest count affects almost everything about your wedding. It impacts venue size, catering costs, rental needs, invitation budget, and more. You don’t need final addresses or meal preferences yet, but having a rough headcount is crucial for planning decisions.

Start with a broad list of everyone you might want to invite, then work backwards based on your budget and what feels right. Are you thinking something intimate with 50 or fewer people? Or a big party with 200 guests? Even a ballpark number (like “probably around 120 people”) helps tremendously as you start looking at venues and vendors.

If you’re looking for ways to save money on your wedding, your guest list could be the first place you look. Just cutting off 10 to 20 people from your guest list could save you a couple thousand dollars.

We know, budget conversations aren’t as fun as looking at pretty wedding photos. But this is also the moment when you need to talk to anyone who might be financially contributing to the wedding. Even though it can be uncomfortable, you need to figure out who is willing to contribute and exactly what they’re willing to put toward your wedding.

Some people may have a set number in mind. Others may want to completely cover a certain aspect for you, like your dress or the bridal shower. If there are family members you think might want to contribute but they haven’t said so yet, you have to ask them. Be prepared for them to say no, but it doesn’t hurt to ask.

Once you know what others are contributing, sit down with your partner and crunch your own numbers:

• How much money are you willing to take out of your existing savings to put toward the wedding?
• How much money can you save between now and the wedding?
• What percentage of your monthly income can go toward the wedding?

You’ll see couples plan beautiful weddings at every budget level. The key is knowing your number before you fall in love with options that don’t fit your reality. For a complete guide to creating your wedding budget, check out our wedding budget tips.

Now that you’ve figured out how much money you’re able to spend, it’s time to figure out your “non-negotiables.” There are probably some things that you know you want at your wedding. Make a list of these things that you aren’t willing to compromise on, so you can allocate a little bit more of your budget toward them.

Make sure you and your partner are on the same page, too. It is both of your wedding day, and you should both be able to have the things that you want (with potentially some compromise from both of you, of course).

Some things that you might want to think about when it comes to your non-negotiables could be:

• An amazing photographer
• A full planner and designer
• A specific venue or type of venue
• Videography
• A plated meal
• An open bar

Here’s a tip that can save you so much stress: choose the season you want to get married in rather than a specific date. Want to get married on a snowy winter day? An outdoor venue won’t work well for you. Want to get married by the water on the Chesapeake? You’ll likely want spring, summer, or fall.

Why does this approach work better? Finding a venue is much more challenging if you have a specific date in mind. If you find your dream venue but they’re already booked on your dream wedding day, are you going to try and find another venue? By staying flexible with dates but committed to a season, you’ll have way more options.

Many couples who get engaged over the holidays choose to get married the following fall or the year after, giving themselves plenty of time to plan. Consider how long of an engagement feels right to you (6 months? 18 months? 2 years?) and what season appeals to you most. If you’re thinking about getting married during peak wedding season (May through October in Maryland), you’ll generally want to book your venue 12 to 18 months out. Winter and early spring weddings often have more flexibility with timing and availability. Here’s a guide if you need help finding which seasons are best for your dream wedding.

Now’s the time to start saving those Pinterest pins and Instagram posts you love, but do it intentionally. Instead of saving everything that looks pretty, focus on what specifically appeals to you. Is it the color palette? The table settings? The overall vibe?

Making notes about why you love something helps you identify your actual wedding style instead of just collecting random pretty pictures. This will be incredibly helpful when you start talking to vendors about your vision.

If family members want to be involved in planning (beyond financial contributions), it’s helpful to have those conversations early. This doesn’t mean you need to have everything figured out. It’s more about understanding expectations, getting input, and making sure everyone feels included in the process from the start.

These conversations can sometimes reveal helpful information (like your mom’s best friend is a florist, or your future in-laws have strong feelings about the guest list). Better to know this stuff now than six months into planning.

This isn’t the most exciting part of being newly engaged, but getting these things done early prevents headaches later:

• Get your engagement ring insured
• Update your emergency contacts with each other’s information
• Start thinking about name changes (if applicable) and what that process looks like
• Make sure important people have your updated contact info

Once you’ve taken these first steps, you’ll be ready to start booking vendors. Some of the first vendors you’ll want to book are your venue, photographer, caterer, and florist. These are all very important pieces to your wedding day that also book up quickly.

You’ll also want to schedule a dress appointment sooner rather than later. Some dresses can take up to eight months to come in, so it’s usually one of the first wedding tasks you’ll want to accomplish after booking your venue.

If you didn’t hire a full-service planner, you may want to consider booking a month-of coordinator at this point. A coordinator will come in about six weeks before your wedding and basically take over. They’ll coordinate with all your vendors to make sure everything is ready to go for your big day. You won’t have to lift a finger on your wedding day, and that’s the way it should be.

Wedding planning can sometimes feel overwhelming. You’ll have moments where you’re stressed about seating charts or worried about the weather or second-guessing your centerpiece choices. And that’s totally normal.

But here’s what we want you to remember: at the end of all this planning, you get to marry your person. That’s the whole point. The flowers are beautiful, the food matters, and yes, you should have the wedding that feels right for you. But none of it matters as much as the commitment you’re making to each other.

So take these first few weeks after your holiday engagement to celebrate, dream, and enjoy being newly engaged. The planning will come, and we’ll be here to help you through it.

If you’re newly engaged and feeling a little overwhelmed by where to start, we’d love to help. At Moore & Co., we specialize in helping Maryland couples plan weddings that feel authentic, beautiful, and completely stress-free. Whether you want full-service planning or just need some guidance on choosing your wedding date and navigating those first big decisions, we’re here for you.

Get in touch with us to schedule a consultation. We can’t wait to hear your story and start planning your celebration.

Featured Vendors

Planning & Design | Moore & Co Events
Photography | Kirsten Smith Photography
Venue | Frederick Douglass – Isaac Myers Maritime Park
Catering | Zeffert and Gold
Florals | Yarrow Floral Co
Video | Monachetti Films
Rentals | Something Vintage, Pretty Little Wedding Co., 27 Studios
Beauty | Updos for I Dos
Band | Sound Nation
Cake | Peony and Meringue